What About Your Friends?

So, what about your friend(s)?  What happens when the world comes crashing down on you and all that is left are promises, will your friends be there to keep them and support you? Are they always there for you when you really need them? What are friends for? How can you differentiate the fakes from the real ones? Do you really need a friend in your life?

In the world today, not much have changed from the norms of friendship–except the Ebonics term used to define a friend: bestie, babe, sister girlfriend, homie and well…you get the picture. The meaning of friendship is used commonly and it’s not based on basic factors such as supporting, loyalty, caring, loving and being there for each other. Nowadays it’s all about popularity–people who have the most “likes” on social medias or followers on Twitter, Instagram, Snap-chat and Facebook.  The meaning behind friendship is tormented by people who envy you and those who are low-key jealous of you but will never admit it because of their pride. They would rather take advantage of your kindness and use you until you are no longer beneficial to their needs. Oh no, the definition of a true friend have died a long time ago. Everybody is a friend of yours until it’s all said and done. Everybody is your friend when you have money, a car, and a successful career. Everybody is your friend when you’re doing good in life and everything is all golden. Those are the so called “friends” you should not keep around you, even if your life depend on it.

Life does not revolve around friendship, well at least the fake ones. I used to think being a good friend would reflect others to be good to me, but I was wrong. I had so called friends, that stepped on me and took my kindness for weakness. They would tell me that they love me but in reality loved my appearances and the things that surrounded me. You can affiliate with others who are not your best interest of a friend–preferably called, “associates”.  You attend the same school together, church and may even work together, exchange words here and there but that’s just keeping it casual. There’s not an extent to where a trust is found until you seriously take the time to get to know the person. That’s the problem we’re facing today, nobody wants to take the time to get to know the real you, the real her or the real him. Everything is built on assumptions. They assume if they hang around with you more often, your knowledge or creativity would “rub” on them.  They assume life is perfect for you and would copy your every moves until they mastered it to sorta kinda remake it into their own style. Sad to say, they’re proud to be called as a friend and would not hesitate to call you their “best friend”.

Newsflash: People who are your friends (family members included) are not really your friends. To clarify; They will always be there but not to support you. From a distance, they will secretly laugh at your mistakes and jump with joy inside their hearts when you fail. They will claim that they feel sorry for you when you’re down, but deep down they’ve been waiting for this moment to occur. The main ones who are so involved behind the scenes in your life, are the main one you should pay close attention to. You know, the first one to add you as a friend on Facebook, follow you on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat but never liked a single pic or comment on any of your posts, but will send you a text message or call you out of nowhere like:

“Hey bestie! Long time no hear, I miss you! What’s new…I see you gotta new boo, when did this all happen?”

“Congrats on the new bundle of joy, who’s the baby daddy?”

“Congrats! You both look happy, am I invited to the wedding?”

“Congrats on the new car, I need a ride to work from now on!”

” Aw, sorry to hear you’re single now. You guys was such a cute couple! What happened?”

“Congrats grad! Are you applying to grad school, did you find a job yet?”

“Heard you got the job, congrats! Are they hiring?”
jealous-friendHere’s the good part about being a good friend: “The way they treat you does not affect the size of your heart and your reactions towards their negativity, it simply leaves you un-bothered.” How do you respond to an undercover enemy with a bad vibe? You don’t. The goodness within you outshines the wrongfulness and hatred towards their self-pettiness.  Establish a solution to ignore–ignore the false rumors, ignore the jealousy, ignore the gossips, ignore anything that keeps you from growing and progressing in life. The saying is indeed true: “Receiving no message is a message”. You do not need an evaluation from others or an approval to seek a friend. If you are constantly waiting for a response or a sign from someone hoping for the best of them but only receive the worst, than that’s a message.  Take the time and space as a privilege and move forward with your life. They have already done so, but will only pop up when things are popping. Take it into consideration that you do not need them to pursue happiness and freedom. Remain as a good friend and engage with others that share the same vibe as you. Some people are so blinded by the truth, it hurts to see the term friend used so loosely. Friendship is sacred and it should be built with honesty and commitment. It should not be based on the people you hang around with that keeps you laughing during the good times but leaves you stranded during the bad times. Be aware of your circle, the people you keep around you reflects who you are as a person. Make sure that reflection is solid and positive.

So what about your friends? Can you honestly say that you have a good friend? Are you a good friend? If not, how about you be a good friend to those who deserves it out there in this cruel cruel world. Spread the love and eliminate hate.  Rekindle the true meaning behind friendship and treat others the same way you would like to be treated. Love, peace and happiness.






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