A Better YOU: Freedom and Other Things

My beautiful sistuhs, how y’all doin’? My brotha’s ya’ll alright? I know it’s been a while since I posted something on the blog. You all are probably wondering (again), “Dang, what’s up with Dhane—she said she was going to do this and then that but we ain’t seen nothing yet). First of all, Imma need ya’ll to not come for me, cause I ain’t the one man.

See what had happened was…

I’ve been working on Real Pointers “A Better YOU” platform by creating a space of FREEDOM for women of color to express their natural beauty and feel accepted without looking for approvals. I mean, there’s more to why uh G like me been ghost— with all the foolery that’s been goin aroun in Ameri-cuh or whatevuh, but I’ll get to that later in my next post. I just been woke for a little over a year. My little (not so little anymore) sister Joann got me in the mix to support Black-owned businesses and lately, my entire focus has been on researching and getting familiarized with my Black roots. Uh G wide awake now, this whole blog-site bout to be controversial–they done really got me started (Yessir).I was so quiet and remained conservative. Back then I was like, “Ok, let me avoid the issues and blog ONLY about inspiring and positive things”, but naaaahhh, they made me do it man– I ain’t wanna do it but they pushed me. Imma add on another category that we’re going to be talking about from now on. Again, stay tuned for my next post…

But back to this post tho: Besides the critical events that occurred recently; this year has really been LIT for us, don’t you agree? Seriously, we got our girl Beyoncé back… (Sign) …well…almost.

***Warning: If you’re a Beehive and you’re reading this, simply skim through this part to prevent any misleading information, uncalled for shades and unnecessary drama*** There’s no need to drag me to the filth, we all know The Beyonce Agency is CLUTCHED. I ain’t nobody, save your breath for the real scavengers outchea.

When the “FORMATION” video first debuted back in February, my fist bump was all the way up—I was so doggone proud! Queen B braids were official, her outfit(s) SLAYED to the gawds and the dancers was on point. The  music video overall was just what we needed at the right time. Then came the Super Bowl halftime performance and we all knew Bey was going to go AWF on that field based on the hype she gave us in her FORMATION video, right? Maaaaaan, why Yonce came out with the blonde weave tho?! I mean we was here with you Bey, in formation and all with your music part but…why you ain’t had Blue Ivy did your hair, we would’ve at least appreciate a blonde fro…at least. We still love you Queen B, it’s all good but dag…

Anywho, the whole ideal of A Better YOU was to embrace the real you along with having a healthy lifestyle, relationship and diet. Last year we focused on our health; eating the right way, staying positive and exercising. This year, we’re going to focus on our outer beauty. Some women may not agree with this movement but it’s really a great self-confidence strategy to embark, especially for young black girls. During the beginning of this summer, I stopped wearing makeup and started rocking my natural hair. This was something I wanted to do a long time ago but never found the strength to do so until now.

Let me first start off by talking about the hair: Have you ever felt like there was some type of hair “War Zone” within the black girls’ community? Ya’ll know what I’m talking about…The Perm Vs. Natural Team? At first, I never really noticed it until I permed my hair last year ago (Or maybe two years ago). Being a black young woman in white-corporate America, it was hard for me to represent Black power when there was only a few of us in the building reppin’ it (if you know what I mean). Plus, I was frustrated with my hair for the following reason(s):

1.) All the protective styles I tried (On Youtube and Instagram) never came out right.

2.) I looked like a little girl, nobody at work couldn’t take me serious

3.) I needed a change , a new ME (I don’t know, it’s the bi-polar talk in me to always say that when my life ain’t going right. Is it a girls thing or is it just me?)

So, I made the decision to permed my hair and I loved it in the beginning. There was no more breaking all my combs, my hair was soft and silky (I did the shortcut look like Nia Long), it was an easy hairstyle to maintain. I was happy, my boss (at the time) was happy and everybody else was happy with the new Dhane. However, there always gotta be one sistuh (the woman version of Malcom-X) in the office looking down at you in disgust. I kid you not, we was communicating with our eyes, like:

Her: “Oh, I see they got yo black a** too huh”?

Me: “It’s not what it looks like”

Her: “Was the scalp burning process worth it for the silky smooth texture?”

Me: “See, I can explain. The way my naps was set up…”


I felt bad. Here I was one minute being the Ambassador of Natural Hair All is Fair (I made that up. I even wrote my first post about going natural on the blog) and then the next minute back-stabbed them and became the new face of Just for Me Relaxed Hair Team. The short pixie-cut was cute but as time went by, it just wasn’t for me. Ya’ll don’t have to persuade me any further about the IMPORTANCE of going and staying natural honey, lesson learned. I’ve came up with my own natural hairstyles that would fit my best interest (Bantu-Knots) and for every combs I broked, I ‘preciated every moment– took my nappy-self to the Beauty Supply store early morning without a fuss to buy a new one. Oh, and I’ll take looking 10  years younger over older any given day! I was lost (back to back) but now I’m found…I ain’t going back, crack is wack…end of story.  #TeamNatural

My point is, going back to my roots gave me a reassurance of love, understanding and respect. It’s not about which side you’re on or who looks better in what—it’s about finding yourself and loving the real you without the European hairstyles. Let me tell ya’ll something, I gave up weave just in time. The box braids, faux locs, twists and Ghana braids I will continue to rock—but it’s those Brazilian, Peruvian and Yaki hair I’m saying NO to. Cause bay-bae…when dem bundles first came out, that price had me like WHOA. I knew I had to cut back sooner than later and come back to my senses. Don’t debate me, hair should not cost an arm and a leg…ever! Rumor also is going around stating that bundles will soon be approved for a settlement payment at certain beauty stores to those who ain’t got doe in full or has that already been established?  Ya’ll talm’bout putting hair on layaway, does that even sounds normal to you? C’mon man, why? That’s kinda crossing the line right there. Get mad if you want to but that mess gotsta GO. Definitely no shades intended, if you have mo money to blow then gone head withcha’ bad self. Now that I’m no longer a slave to weave it’s safe to confess, “I have never spent money on hair costing more than $80.00 and I never will”. Call me what you want, bet you can’t call me broke.


On to the next: Where all my flawless ladies at that can rock a fresh face daily without makeup? I see you boo! I remembered reading an article about Alicia Keys starting a #NoMakeup Movement because she no longer wants to cover up any aspect of herself. My first reaction was, “Ok, that’s easy for her to say and do cause she’s mix and her hair can make up for it anyways”. But then it hit me: I was so wrong and dead wrong to say that. (My sincere apology to you, Mrs. Keys-Beatz). That was a back-hand compliment. After releasing my inner “Mrs. Petty Labelle” statement (In my head of course), I started to inhale my Black Girl Magic point of views and became serious to commit on the movement as well. What others don’t see is that Alicia was trapped into Hollywood’s ideal of a beautiful woman—glamorized, picture-perfect, America-standard beauty. Mrs. Keys wanted to be free mentally, physically and spiritually –she now has full control over her mind, body and soul. Get it? FREEDOM, she’s FREE! I can visualize it right now, some of ya’ll reading this and saying: “Um, listen hea; If Queen B herself went natural and supported the #NoMakeup movement today, and even if Jesus Himself came down and announced the Breaking News to have every Black women go natural (if you haven’t already) in order to walk in the gates of Heaven…the answer for me will still and always be…”

I’m sorry dawg, that’s going to be a no for me.

I’m hollering and crine cause I know it’s the TRUTH! Well, if you ever decide to change your mind–the movement will remain open for us all. We still love ya’ll! FREEDOM. That’s where we all need to be one day…together in a room filled with black women appreciating their freckles, scars, two-shade skin tone and natural hair. Do…ya’ll get the picture right? It’s ok to wear weave and make-up here and there–but imagine walking out the door FREELY without a care in this world. It’s a beautiful thing to experience…the joy, happiness and love from within shining on the outside. Amazing feeling.

Natural is cool but I ain’t giving up my makeup…that’s tew much…

Next week, starting August 1st–join me for A Better YOU one week challenge of #NoMakeupandWeave! (Sign)..AIght, aight, I’ll bend the rules just a little bit for others who still ain’t down with the natural movement: You can either do no weave or no makeup. (Fair enough)?  For those who accept the full movement challenge, it would be my pleasure to share your photo of the day on the blog and also share it via social media. I want all of my beautiful sistahs (Yellow, white, purple, orange and green people too, ya’ll invited) to join this challenge. The goal is to acknowledge self-love and embrace ourselves with confidence in the end. Let the challenge begin in 3 days ladies…can’t wait to see your NATURAL beauty!

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.