Three Highlights of 2016

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive” – Audre Lorde
Happy New Year everyone!
I wanted to wait towards the end of the month to post my first blog for 2017. Even though I haven’t been on here much last year, I have to tell you how grateful 2016 has been to me. I missed you guys like crazy, however –I don’t regret taking a MUCH NEEDED break from the blogging world. Best feeling ever to meditate, relax and  living the life God desires you to have. But I’m back and can’t help to share some of the most memorable highlights of 2016 for me! I call it my 3 P’s highlight; Privacy, Pregnancy and the Proposal.
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“Do your little bit of good where you are. It’s the little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world” – Desmond Tutu
Privacy. 2016 was the year to be patient in the most private way. I found happiness within me, but most importantly I learned to capture the happiest moments away from social media. I celebrated my 27th birthday on December 29,2016.  A lot of things ran through my mind on that day but I was thankful for one thing and that was pure JOY. By obtaining privacy; I found peace, love and understanding with myself. I fought for a really long time to be consistent in loving myself unconditionally, it was a long struggling journey and but I did it.  Do you know how good it feels to accept yourself FULLY for who you are? Now, it may not work for others but for myself–privacy was the key to my happiness. I am a private person. Anyone that knows me can tell you how very serious I take my privacy and happiness.
The relationship I have with God is between Him and I. The relationship I have with my significant other, family and close friends is between them and I.  There may be  a few posts about my relationship(s) here and there, but as far as exposing EVERYTHING about it- I tend to keep that private. Sometimes in life, you have to learn to balance your real life vs. your virtual life. Everything you do does not have to be publicly known. With that being said, it was a learning strategy for me to concentrate and focused on what truly mattered. I wanted to cherish “something(s)”and keep it sacred. That “something” is my happiness. I’m able to share my passion, talent and opinions but when it comes to the joy I have inside of me…it’s only for me, myself and I. It’s ok to be selfish with your happiness–besides, the only person who truly cares about your well-being and knows you pretty well is yourself, right? Cheers to  a happy and private life.
“I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me” – Tracee Ellis Ross
Photography by Beaux_ArtsPhotography
Photography by Beaux_ArtsPhotography

Pregnancy. For those of you who may not know- I am a PROUD auntie of two cutest boys, Joshua (3) and Kevin (1). My adorable nephews, I treat them as if they’re my own. Being an aunt has mold me to become a role model and the best version of me that I can be. It’s the best feeling in the world! Well, one of the best feelings. On July 4,2016, I’ve discovered one of the greatest love of all and that was becoming a new mommy-to-be! Yes, you read correctly- I’m going to be a mommy! Happy at first sight of missing my period? No, I was petrified. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was in denial but deep down…somewhat happy. I didn’t want to believe that I was pregnant off of wedlock. Every woman (if not, majority)  dream of having a magical love story; find the love of their  life, get married and then have kids. It didn’t happened for me and after a few days of being in denial, I finally gave in and I ACCEPTED it. Instead of blaming myself of “what I could have done and should have done”, I EMBRACED the sudden changes and began to prepare for what’s next.

When I broke the news to my then boyfriend Nesly, he was very supportive and reassured me that everything was going to be ok…and he was right. Everything turned out to be more than ok. I had to remind myself that it’s a blessing- it’s God’s gift to bring a baby into this world. Some women don’t get the chance to experience the love of being or becoming a mother. I am beyond thankful that it was in God’s Plan for me to start this new journey of motherhood. Fast forward to now, I’m 33 weeks and counting! I’m OVERLY excited and have been on cloud nine ever since. It’s a girl and we named her Melissa Lynda Philord. We decided to give her Nesly’s late mother’s name Lynda as her middle name, which flows beautifully altogether. My pregnancy has treated me very well and I am grateful. The amount of support my significant other and I have from close friends, coworkers  and family–we are truly appreciative in this precious moment of ours. Melissa is already spoiled but most of all, extremely blessed from the womb. Keep us in your prayers! Count down until my baby shower (which I will also blog about in the next two weeks) and countdown until Melissa makes her grand entrance into this world. Thank You, God.

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“It feels so good to be  H A P P Y” – Etta James
Proposal. Love is so perfectly imperfect. It comes from the spirit of Lord and multiply in ways you can’t even imagined. When I tell you how blessed I am–I know God favors me. I am a child of God, for He is my true love and will always be my first love. But to have the chance to love another after Him and myself–truly words can’t describe my happiness with Nesly. He’s my best friend, the only person I can run to and share my dreams, fear and now life with. Gosh, we’ve been through so much, I have grown to love him each day and tackled EVERY challenges along the way. It’s because of Him that we’re still standing today. God couldn’t have picked a better person to be Melissa’s daddy. I am forever thankful for his unconditional love and support. I knew the time he was going to pop the question was near but didn’t expect for it to happened so sudden. On December 24,2016 I transitioned from being a girlfriend to a fiancée. After 5 rollercoaster years of being together, he proposed to me. It was simple, genuine and private. Just me, him and our close family members. He got down on one knees, looked me right in my eyes and asked in 4 words, “Will you marry me”? Of course, I said YES. (Wedding planning in full effect!)
These were my highlights of 2016. It haven’t been easy for me, but in every situation — I make it my priority to think positive no matter what the case may be. What’s in stores for me this year? Only God knows. Just a heads up, I will be detoxing from social media again very soon.  I’m taking it one day at a time and I want to enjoy every moment in private. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to share many of my thoughts and point of views from fashion, lifestyles, cooking and more. Thank you for ALWAYS being patient with me and it’s been a pleasure writing to you all about my upcoming new chapter in life. May this year brings you peace, laughter, happiness, love and JOY! I love ya’ll and until next time…
Dhane Philord

Welcome to Real Pointers with Dhane. Everything you need to know about relationships, inspirations and fashion from my point of view. Enjoy!

9 Comments
  1. Yasssss love love it Dhane, this was very delightful and beautifully written . Love reading love stories like yours😍😘 great job 👍🏽love your blogs my dear

  2. Love it Dhane awww so sweet can not wait to meet Melissa and the blog is such a pleasure to read may God keep blessing you and your family always😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘

  3. Beautifully and perfectly said! I enjoy reading your blogs as I am an Anonymous blogger myself. However, I am sooo proud of the women you’ve become, the milestones you have reach on your journey to greatness, and I firmly believe you will be an Awesome Wife let alone a Phenomenal Mother. Congratulations on everything that’s has came and will continue to come, love you!

    1. Aaawww, Libby thank you sooo much! That means a lot to me and love you too!
      P.S: I would LOVE to read your blogs one day! ❤️

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