Should I Keep’em or Leave’em?

Nobody’s perfect. (Uh.)

Nobody’s perfect (Aye…Aye.)

Nobody’s perfect but you’re perfect for me….

J.Cole featuring Missy Elliot song: “Nobody’s Perfect”, a song you can relate to if you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t so perfect in everybody’s eyes except yours. OK, so he tells white lies from here and there, and he probably  have a few chicks he calls his “home girls’ on a regular basis. What is his response when you find out he’s been chatting online with that “home girl”?

“Baby, c’mon it’s nothing serious. What’s with all the questions? You don’t trust me now?”

“Stop being so insecure, you sound foolish right now. She’s just a friend.”

“Really? We’re going there..again? You know I love you too much to even think about cheating. You sound crazy hun, relax.”

Right. There’s nothing funny about being a dummy. We as woman have to be straight forward when it comes to being with someone and engaging ourselves into a serious relationship. So often, we give in and pretend that everything is OK but in reality, things are pretty bad. You sit at home every night with your phone in hand waiting for a text back after blowing up his phone, and instead you end up sleeping and waking up the next morning receiving his late text stating, “I fell asleep.” Now, you’re furious but as soon as he comes over and explains his side of the story, you accept his apology along with the nice flowers (guilt trip move) he brought you. That is until he does the same thing over again.

How many times is enough for you? How many chances should you give him after each “sorry’s” and “It won’t ever happen again”?Does it seems that every conversation you have with him goes through one ear and out of the other? Sometimes, it’s easier to forgive him when he’s truly sincere about his wrongdoings. You can see the sincerity right through his eyes and lets face it, everybody makes mistakes. We are human beings.  You can’t expect for him to get everything right in a relationship and to be 100% honest about everything too.

Here are some of the following examples to consider if he’s worth it and should you keep’em:

  • If you see that he is trying to make an effort by calling you and sending you a good morning/good night text…keep’em.
  • If he surprises you by taking you out to dinner because he stood you up last week by hanging out with his fellas instead, then let go of that grudge and take his offer. Keep’em.
  • If you seen inappropriate messages on his phone and he promises that it won’t happened again…believe him the first time. Wait a couple of weeks and if you see that he’s keeping up with is promises (giving you the password to his phone and answering his calls when he’s unavailable)…yes, keep’em!
  • If he’s willing to make time for you and participate in activities that you love doing, then there’s no need to explain further…keep him for good.

Do not end up being the bitter person by bringing so much unnecessary negativity into a relationship, when it can be easily avoided just by communicating and understanding one another point of view.

Now ladies, here are the following examples of when you should leave’em:

  •  If he’s CONTINUOUSLY ignoring your calls and responding back with late text messages like, “I fell asleep’ or “My phone was dead”, something is up. Bring out your female intuition and let him know the real deal. If he has yet to change and he clearly doesn’t care how you feel about the situation…leave’em.
  • If he has wondering eyes and doesn’t respect you in public to keep his on the prize (you) only, address the issue first and let him know. If he refuses to change his wandering eyes and continues looking (and throwing in a little smirk to it) in public, then its obvious there’s more wandering he has going on in private as well too. Leave’em.
  • If he refuses to give you his password to his phone and claims that he is not talking to anyone, but days later you found out he was talking to not one but “MULTIPLE’ girls and they have been “seeing” him for a while now…um, don’t just leave him. Put on your most famous track shoes and run as fast as you can, don’t look back! Who have time for a cheater AND a liar? Not me!

I am not a relationship expert, but I do have common sense when it comes to being in a relationship. I don’t know about you, but I love myself too much to be stuck in a dreadful relationship with someone who has no respect for me and think that flowers or chocolate can make up for every mistakes, that will eventually occur again. Every women deserve to be treated as a queen and there is no excuse to be treated as anything less than who you are…a QUEEN. Remember that. It’s OK to be single for a while and be a third wheeler…sometimes. But if you know that you have a good man, regardless of his minor mistakes then continue working out your relationship for the better. Ask yourself this question: Should I keep’em or leave’em?

Nobody’s perfect but he may be worth it…

Until Next time!

 

 

 

 

 

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