One of the most beautiful thing about being a woman is the desire of changing up our looks. Whether it’s our hairstyles, applying a new set of makeup or a change of wardrobe; we as woman have the bold tendency to change-up our styles and still obtain beauty in our own kind of way. You start feeling more confident and even happier as you stand in front of the mirror, admiring your brand new look. Everything about it reads: a BETTER you, a SEXIER you, a now-you-look-more in CONTROL kind of look.” It’s that high-five feeling that you give yourself after all these years and you finally decided to change it up. You feel good about your new transformation, but then your good mood goes down the hill when your man disapproves the new look. What do you do now? Do you go back to your old look just to satisfy him or do you stand firm to your change of looks and proceed on without his opinion?
I’ve been in a relationship with my better half for about 3 years now. So I pretty much dealt with all
of his criticisms and compliments when it comes to changing up my looks, every now and then. How do I handle if? By communicating. Every woman wants to look good for their man, am I right? It’s a natural thing to dress up and do a little extra on the hair and makeup for that special someone. If you know your man good enough, you can get the idea of knowing his interest on your hairstyles, or the kind of clothes he love to see you in. You don’t have to keep sending him 5 different kind of picture messages until you get an approval from him. Figure out his interest and find out if he’s willing to adapt to your new look or if you can switch up a tad bit just to be on the same level with him. If you surprised your man by showing off your new look and he’s not pleased with it; sit down and have a talk with him. Explain why you decided to change your look and how important it is for him to support you.
Sometimes, the biggest insecurities comes from your significant other’s opinion. “What if he doesn’t like it?”, “Do you think my man would leave me if I decided to go natural?”, “I hope he’s not disappointed about my new hair color or the new hair cut”, “I’m so afraid of what his reaction will be.” I get the picture; your man fell in love with you and your luscious long beautiful black hair since he first laid eyes on you. But now, you made the decision to cut your long beautiful luscious hair and even colored it honey brown and now he’s giving you that weird look like, “This was not the woman I fell in love with 2 years ago, what’s with this new look all of a sudden?” You completely shut down and now you regret the new look because he doesn’t like it. But you have to ask yourself this question: Did he really loved me for me or just fell in love with my looks? It shouldn’t be a big deal for him nor should it be a major issue for him to accept your new change of hairstyle.
Men are not complicated to please, well at least my man. In his eyes, I look good despite of a few style of changes that I’ve done in the past. But there was a time when he didn’t approve my new look at all. That day was when I decided to go natural, I chopped all of my hair off. My new hairstyle…he hated it. Now this was something that I couldn’t unwind and take back, my hair was already gone. The only option left for me was to put on a wig, and I wasn’t going there. We talked it out and I told him straight up, “Look, I’m bald. You can either accept the new me for who I am or find someone else.” Of course he chose to accept my new look and actually ended up falling in love with it. My man knew how important it was for me to take this natural journey and he stood by my side 100%.
Yes ladies, go ahead and pull out the “Either Or” card. He can either accept the brand new you for who you are or he can just get the step out (Just like how Martin from the Martin Show would say: GET THE STEPPIN!!!). If he agrees to grow accustom to your new look then that’s true love but if he disagrees about the new look and decides to step out, then he wasn’t good for you in the first place.
Part of the reasons why we as women change our looks is to find ourselves. We are evolving each day and each day has its own way of saying, “It’s a brand new day for a brand new you.” We must see ourselves as beautiful before we can take that risk of changing the way we dress, or the change of our hair color. So if your man doesn’t see that beauty in you now than what he used to see in you before, then there’s something wrong with him. It’s not you. That’s not true love. You have already accepted the brand new look and fell in love with the brand new look. Your man should stand by your side and support you by saying, “Look, baby I’m not used to this brand new look yet…but I’m willing to get used to it, if you love it.”
If you love your brand new look, he should love it too. That’s the real point of view from me. I see it no other way if he thinks otherwise and does not make an effort to like it. He should respect your brand new look in a lovable kind of way (it may take him a while). Give him some time, if he really loves you…he’ll give into it eventually.