Results or Excuses (But You Can’t Have Both)!

I’m going to get straight to the real point about this topic. If it’s one thing that bugs me, it’s definitely EXCUSES. I hate excuses, I don’t tolerate it by any mean. Have you ever heard the sayings, “If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse”? That sayings is true; excuses are lies hidden through poor reasoning. One major way to find out if someone is really into you, is by time. The amount of time you spend with a person, can determined the actual feelings a person may have for you. Whether it’s by calling, texting, face-time, or meeting face to face; you can always tell a person reaction towards you by the time taken from their day to spending it with you.

I find it really pathetic to hear excuses coming from a grown-ass-man. (I told y’all I was going to get straight to the real point, no sugar-coating). For little boys or young men, it’s fine until they reach to a certain age ( I would say over 21) and then it’s just not cute anymore. It’s pathetic. Fellas, you have to be a man about it, take pride and ownership to your words. If you say you’re going to do something, do something and don’t just talk about it! Man up or shut-up! It’s the year 2014 dammit, we can handle the truth and nothing but the truth. Why come up with an excuse? Real men should be champions, not losers and excuses are for losers! Ask yourself this question at the end of the day, are you a loser or a champion?

www.singleblagmale.orgI think the most common reason why some men come up with excuses, is when they suddenly found interest in another woman. You can blame a guy for cheating but you can’t blame a guy for having true feelings for another woman. I’m not going to say that men are always at fault. There’s plenty  of reason as to why this may have occurred. A troubled relationship for one reason can cause a man to wonder off, depending on how the situation is handled. If there’s no communication in the relationship, silent treatments will only lead space and opportunity for a man to make a move on another women. Especially if the other woman finds him attractive as well. Another reason can be the way a woman talks to their significant other. You see, men like to feel needed. They won’t tell us this, but it will hurt a man’s ego to the core if his woman blurted out words such as, ” I DON’T NEED YOU”, and “Boy look at you. YOU AIN’T SHI*T”! In some cases, the first statement may be true; the woman can be the provider in the relationship but to say the least, a man don’t want to hear that at all. His woman could be saying all the wrong words to him, while the other woman is saying all the right words that he wants to hear.

But when it’s time for confrontation, some men would never take the blame of  hurting their significant other’s feelings by telling the truth, so they tend to lie their way out by saying: “Baby, you know you’re the only girl I wanna be with, nobody can take your place.”,  “I have no eyes for any other girls but you…I promise”, “If I wanted to be with someone else, I would but I don’t because I only want you”. They have it all played and figured out, not knowing in the long-run that it will eventually affect the relationship worse than it would hurt now. It’s never simple to tell the truth but why do some men lie or make up an excuse for cheating or being deceptive? Maybe it’s because they don’t want to lose a good thing and if they do, it will be harder to find someone better or maybe because they want to have their cake and eat it too. Or they can simply be plain curious.  A woman can tell when a man is not being honest:

Excuses #1″I’ve been busy and I won’t have the time to come see you this week”. You can never be too busy for someone unless you choose not to see them and make up an excuse for it.

Excuses #2: “No, it’s not you…it’s me. I just need some time to think things through, maybe a little break for a few months. I still love you though.” Clearly, he wants that little break to spend time with his other boo. It doesn’t mean that he wants to break up with you, it just means he wants to find this time to explore different fishes in the sea. Oh, but he’ll get back to you though.

Excuses #3: “Look, you haven’t been treating me the same ever since you got your little promotion. You don’t call me as much time as I do and you definitely been acting different hanging out with your girls lately. I can already see where this relationship is going.” Ha! He’s flipping the card to make you seem like you’re the reason for his lying deceptive ways, when really he’s the problem for his own problems. All time classic, never gets old.

Whatever the reason may be, that still shouldn’t stop a man from being a man by stepping up and being honest to their woman. Yes, be honest. It’s a complete turn-on fellas. When you’re committed to someone, you accept no excuses but only results. If you really don’t want to lose a good thing, show some results. Explain the reasons if you was unfaithful, cheated, lied to her or been treating her wrong, and prove to her that she is worth keeping. Do whatever it takes to keep a good relationship going, pour your freaking heart out to her if your truly COMMITTED. But if you’re not, then speak the truth. Don’t come up with a lame excuse like that’s going to help the relationship. You know you was no good from the start; don’t buy something you can’t afford. Buying an item that you can’t afford can be expensive to keep in the long run. You can’t afford to buy her heart than sell it to someone else who can. A heart to me is very expensive. You have to nourish it with the tender love and care that it needs and money is way too cheap for that. You’re going to need a lot more than money and materialistic things to have a real woman’s heart.

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there is a such thing as to having a healthy relationship. Of course, you’re going to have ups and downs in a relationship, but the key is to have balance. Be comprehensive and get in-depth of what’s really triggering your relationship. Excuses in a relationship will do you no good. Yes, we women are sensitive and can sometimes be emotionally unstable, but that shouldn’t stop you from interacting like grown  adults and cutting straight to the chase to solve the real issue. Take the time out to find a way to build a better foundation between the two of you and how you can prevent trouble in paradise from reoccurring. Does your girl talk too much or have a habit of talking over you? Financial issues? Are you both agreeing to disagree more often than having a mutual agreement?  Do you need more loving? Family conflicting issues? You want some time alone? Point the issues out and elaborate truthfully. You can either have results or excuses, but you can’t have both!

Dhane Philord

Welcome to Real Pointers with Dhane. Everything you need to know about relationships, inspirations and fashion from my point of view. Enjoy!

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