Choosing What’s Right

A broken heart can be mended. You can simply pick up the pieces that were not meant to be put together and gradually start a new puzzle. Sometimes, it may take a while for your heart to register what your mind has already discovered from the beginning. You have a glimpse of hope that maybe, there’s something deep inside waiting to surface–a chance of reconnecting the love you once shared with that person. You can’t articulate how you feel when your heart is hurting. Often times, words don’t come out the way you expect them to and you start to wonder if continuing to build a relationship with your significant other is even worth it. A good friend of mine quoted, “You should never wish to go back, always move FORWARD”.  When things don’t go as planned or accordingly–I would always question myself as to what if I would have done this or not have done that; would we have still be where we are now? 

It’s really hard to not blame yourself for the things that could have been easily fixed or voided, because you know yourself better than that. You are powerful. Use your mind and think before you react. How could something so little control so much of you? How could you let one minor issue affect your whole demeanor? How could you let someone so close to you, slip away that easily? How can something that feels so right, goes so wrong? But the point of giving up is not that easy doing it, rather than saying it. You just don’t give up on love that easy. Even if it’s not love, that feeling you have with that person does not vanish overnight. It’s a sensational and inscrutable feeling that you wish to avoid but deep down desiring the option to explore. 

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” -Anonymous (Quote was from an episode I watched from Being Mary Jane).

Every relationship is not perfect, no matter how pretty the picture seems from the outside. The amount of time spent with someone does not define the amount of love one may share with each other. You could be with your partner for a couple of months and feel more connected than someone whose been with their partner for over 20 years. Quality over quantity. You should never regret being with someone because it didn’t worked out. Take it as a lesson learned experience throughout the stages of love. I became to feel resentful of the things that I couldn’t change and deliberately chose to stay, dealing with the consequences instead of moving on. My character of living without an ounce of pride, grew within me as I began to utter the sound of disbelief. I couldn’t believe that I was actually dealing with this crap. Yeah, I said it. I’m smart and beautiful, I do not need a man that’s going to derogate me in any kind of way. Whatever I want, I get and if it’s not going my way then it’s definitely hitting the highway.  That was my motto…before I knew what I was really getting myself into. 

greys-anatomy“I can live without you, but I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to.” -Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy, Season 11: Episode 17)

When you’re in a serious relationship, there is no sides to be on–the both of you become one. When one is hurt, the other is hurt as well. When one is happy, the other is filled with happiness too. Everything is combined into one. If there is a problem, I am not going to solve it…WE are. This can only be determined if the both of you agree to work on it TOGETHER. In my opinion, I don’t think there is an exact definition of how to be in a successful relationship. But the fact of the matter is, you chose to be with that person and that person chose to be with you for some valid reason(s). It doesn’t have to be right but it have to be true. You have to be true to yourself and with that person. Never let anything or anyone get in the way of what really matters to you the most. If the love is still there, reach out for it and don’t let go of what your heart truly needs and want. 

“That broken thing you keep trying to put back together, can’t even compare with that beautiful thing that’s waiting to be built.” -Anonymous

You ever want something so bad, it’s all you think about? No matter how bad the situation is, you just can’t live your day without having to “fix” it. But then, what do you do when you want to make things right? Do you continue to show effort by trying to communicate or do you leave a space and take some time to think things through? I can admit that I have my share of being wrong in a relationship and I have no problem of apologizing. But when it becomes a constant trigger, being apologetic wouldn’t do any justice or serve no purpose towards the situation at all. I tend to say things without truly meaning it and as much as I tried to deny it, it has become a bad habit. I had a way of being sweet and alluring in that vulnerable moment, but it only lasted so long. Somehow, somewhere…I had to reevaluate myself and for once think about the other person’s feeling. I had to stop taking matter into my own hands and allow it to change for the good. Whether it was to rekindle or walk away from the process, trust was the only thing to do during the storm. I had to trust that everything was going to work out in His favor and believe that the best was yet to come.

“Nothing Last Forever” 

The saying is true: Nothing lasts forever. Love may have failed you one too many times but that’s no excuse for you to give up. There’s a new day for a new chance and a fresh start for a new you. Take the time to live your life and don’t dwell on your relationship if the ship is sinking. There’s a rescuer out there to either take you out of the ship or redirect you to the right direction of nailing it, to prevent from sinking too deep. The point is for you to live in the moment. Dance a little, say a prayer, smile often, laugh harder and be free. Give yourself some time to relax and always remain peaceful. Reach out to that significant other and tell them how much you care by saying three simple words, “I Love You.” Saying those words does not show signs of weakness or being desperate. It means that you are a human being. There is a heart beating inside of you and you are using it to show comfort. Let that person knows that there is no grudges holding against you and that you have fully forgiven what’s been done in the past. It doesn’t always have to be right but if you want to choose what’s right, choose to be happy. Life doesn’t have to be complicated. Everything will be perfectly fine and if it’s not fine then it’s not the end!

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